Time is Flying...and not so much...

I am having a hard time deciding whether this pregnancy is going by fast or not. Most of the time I feel like WOW! I'm already over 17 weeks pregnant which means I'm almost half way. And then I think how it's going to be November tomorrow which means in 2 months it will be 2010 and the baby will be due just 3 months later! And then there's the side of me that can't believe I'm ONLY 17 weeks and therefore have 23 left to go. I want to meet my baby so bad, but I also know how important this experience of pregnancy really is, and I'm trying to savor every moment of it.

So here's an update.

*Today I am 17 weeks, 2 days pregnant.
*I'm 90% sure I felt the baby move for the first time last night. It was the sweetest feeling! It felt like fingers tapping on my tummy. I've been waiting for it to happen again so I can decide if that's really what I felt last night.
*I get to find out the sex on November 24th. That's only 25 days away!!!! It's all I think about and I cannot wait!
*We bought our first major baby purchase a few days ago -- The crib! It's adorable and I can't wait for the shipment to come so we can start setting up the nursery!
*I think we've finally made a decision about the names. If it's a boy his name will be Cade Levi Carlson and if it's a girl it will be Hadley, but we haven't chosen a middle name for Hadley yet. We are thinking Alexia.

So here's an updated baby bump picture. I took it this morning. I'm finally feeling more pregnant and less fat. Yay!

"Mommy, I'm a Girl."

It's no secret that I've always wanted lots of children, and up until the day I found out I was pregnant I've never wanted anything but girls. I've had hundreds of girl names picked out since I was a little girl, but could never even bring myself to the thought that I could have boys one day.

When I found out I was pregnant, Nathan and I instantly thought we were having a boy, and we were in love with that idea. We have called him a boy every time we refer to him, we had his name picked out and have called him "Cade" for months now. I didn't know why we were so sure he was a boy, but I didn't care. I loved my little guy and have never regretted that he wasn't a girl.

Then, about 2 nights ago, I had the most intense dream that I've ever experienced in my life, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

I dreamed that I was very pregnant, 5 months or so, and all of a sudden I looked down and I was holding an infant in my arms. She looked so familiar and I didn't know why, but I just stared at her for a while. She was tiny, days or weeks old maybe, and she couldn't speak. But her eyes were wide open and she was staring at me, right in the eyes, and wouldn't look away. I stared back into her eyes, and although she couldn't talk, I could hear out loud exactly what she was thinking. She said, "Mommy, it's me, and I'm a girl. Please stop calling me a boy."

And instantly we were flying into the future, and landed in my doctors office, and I saw myself receiving my 20 week ultrasound. I heard the doctor say, "It's a girl!" and the baby said, "See mommy, I'm a girl. My name is Hadley."

I was in awe. I didn't have anything to say back, but even in my dream I knew that the moment would soon end and my baby girl would have to go away. I knew that I wouldn't be able to see her again for a few months so all I could do was just stare at her and take every part of her in. I stared at her beautiful blue eyes, her tiny toes and fingers. I tried to remember that sweet voice that she had, and I remember how bald and tiny she was.

And then I woke up.

I felt refreshed, so happy, so in love with this tiny thing that is growing inside of me, and while I don't care whether it's a boy or girl, one fact about my dream reassures me that it really could be real: I've never considered the name Hadley in my life. I had heard the name once a few years ago, but haven't thought of it since, and never considered it as a name I would name my child. But I absolutely love it, and if she is a girl, then obviously her name will be Hadley.

As 1st Trimester Comes to a Close....

A part of me would like to say that the first trimester of pregnancy has gone by quickly...and in a way I guess it has considering I didn't know I was pregnant for the first 5 weeks. But man, I'm about to be 13 weeks along and I can't help but think that I still have 27 weeks to go! I just want to meet my baby already! I'm impatient by nature, and have wanted to start a family for so long that I just want him/her to come out asap and be healthy.

What I'm looking forward to: No more sickness!! It's definitely minimized, I'll admit...but I'm still throwing up every time I brush my teeth. It's awful.

Anyway, here's a picture I took of my growing belly this morning. I'm 12 weeks 5 days pregnant, and look like I'm 5 months. It's ridiculous.

Announcement! Announcement!

That's right! Those are 4 (count them) FOUR positive pregnancy tests! Nathan and I are having a baby!

For those who are interested, here's the crazy story about how we found out!

On Friday, July 31st, I went to the doctor to get some new medications for my migraines. The medicine wasn't ready at the pharmacy right away so I decided to wait and pick them up the next day. So after work on August 1st, I went to pick up the prescriptions and I noticed that each of them had a warning label on them that said not to take the medication if I were pregnant. I didn't think that I was, but for some strange reason I couldn't bring myself to take the medication until I found out for sure. So I went to the store, bought a test, came home and took it immediately.

To my shock and huge surprise, the test had a faint positive result....well the "positive" line was clearly there in bright pink, but the "control" line (the line that says the test is working) was very light and it was brown in color, not pink, so I wasn't sure if the test was even working right. I freaked out and asked Nathan what he thought the test meant. His jaw dropped! (He didn't know that I had gone to purchase a test.) But we both had doubts about the validity of the test, so I drove to the store again and this time bought a three-pack of tests that were a different brand.

I didn't really have to use the bathroom again that soon, so I was only able to pee enough for one test. The test came out positive in under 5 seconds. I was shaking so bad! It was such a happy/scared/what-am-i-gonna-do feeling, and I didn't know what to do. I went back into the computer room and put the test down on Nathan's desk and told him it was positive. At first I didn't know what to say, but eventually I broke out into tears. Nathan was so supportive. He thought I was crazy for crying. He said "why are you crying? We wanted this!" and I knew he was right, but I also knew there was no turning back. After a few hours of talking about it, I felt better and actually started to get excited.

I started searching the internet for baby stuff. I discovered that at that point I was about 5 1/2 weeks along, my due date would be April 1st (yes, April Fools Day!) and that the Chinese Calendar said I would be having a girl!

The next two days I took the remainder of my pregnancy tests, and both came out positive again. I scheduled a prenatal appointment right away and had my first doctor appointment on August 5th. The doctor confirmed that I definately was pregnant, 6 weeks along, and confirmed my April 1, 2010 due date.

We are so over the moon about this whole thing. We cannot wait to be parents and I can't wait to find out if I'm having a baby boy or girl. I have my first ultrasound on September 1st, and I'll get to see my baby and hear it's heartbeat. I can't wait!!

Side note....for some reason I can't stop calling the baby a "he..." not sure if that's just coincidence or mother's intuition but I have a feeling I'm having a boy, and even though I've wanted a girl my entire life, I actually kind of want a boy now!

I'M GONNA BE A MAMA!!!!

**UPDATE** I had my ultrasound on Sept 1 and they realized I was a little less pregnant than we thought, so they changed my due date to April 9th, 2010. The baby was moving like crazy and had a great heartbeat. It's laying on it's side, but here you can see the head, eyes, mouth, arms, and legs:

Pictures from Las Vegas!

We got back from Las Vegas a few weeks ago and I've been meaning to post pictures! We really had a lot of fun and it was so nice to get away. Here are some pictures from our trip.


We stayed at the Bellagio Hotel. This is a picture of it at night:


This was the amazing view from our hotel room window!



We got tickets to ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower. It was a really long and really scary ride.


This was the view of The Strip from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Vegas is so beautiful at night!


Planet Hollywood

Of course we had to visit M&M World! For those of you who haven't been, it's a 4 story building dedicated just to M&M's! They have colors and flavors you wouldn't imagine! YUM!



This is the ceiling in the entrance to our hotel. It must have taken months to create.

Botanical Gardens - Bellagio



The pool at the Mirage -- all the swimming pools were like waterparks! So fun!

The hustle and bustle of the Las Vegas streets.

We did so many fun things! We saw "Mystere" by Cirque du Soleil, which was probably one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed, we saw a Penn & Teller Magic Show, we even went to Sigfreid and Roy's Secret Garden where we saw leopards, white tigers, and white lions. It was so pretty.

I could post hundreds of more pictures but I'll spare you. I will just post one more though...it turned out to be very significant! I just may have a secret, but I can't reveal it right now! Stay tuned over the next couple of days.

The Tornado Nightmare: Relived.

My sister and I have many horrible, vivid childhood memories of being woken up in the middle of the night by our parents, racing downstairs and being locked in our laundry room because our town was being ripped to shreds by tornados. We lived in tornado alley in Texas, and I don't think my mind will ever erase the noises that we heard, the pounding rain, the whooshing winds, and of course the fear that this instilled in us. To this day I have the same recurring nightmare once or twice a year of me looking out my window and being surrounded by dozens of tornados. (No that never happened, never saw more than one at a time, but the nightmare is still there.) So you can imagine my relief over the past several years living in Colorado, that I haven't had to relive that terrible memory....until this week.

The weather has been pretty unpredictable these past few days, and rumors of tornados down in the tech center had me on high alert...but I didn't really think they would happen in my town, not to me! The memories still make my skin crawl. So needless to say, my eyes have been on the skies, looking for any sign of green...and finally, yesterday, just blocks away:

Ugh! The sight is beautiful, don't get me wrong. I've always thought that tornados were one of nature's most beautiful anamolies. But when you've seen the catastrophe that it can create, and it is real to you because you've experienced it, that fear never goes away.

Adams county has been under tornado warning off and on for days now, and just minutes ago there was another sighting...so we are under warning again. I'm so excited. Feel the enthusiasm.

Las Vegas!

Nathan and I finally booked our first summer vacation! It's gonna be kinda short, but we are both excited to get away from work and responsibilities, and spend some quality time with each other.

Here's a little about our plans:

We are leaving early in the morning and catching a flight on United Airlines (which I am sooo excited about, I'm obsessed with flying) to our destination of....

LAS VEGAS BABY!

We are staying in the fabulous Bellagio Hotel...

...and among other things, we are seeing 2 shows, Cirque du Soleil 'Mystere' and a Penn & Teller Magic Show.

We have so much planned and we cannot wait...now we just have to wait! We aren't leaving for another 6 weeks, so the waiting game begins!

And who knows! Maybe I'll come back as "Michelle Carlson!"